Oh yeah, it's update time & I'm back bitches...


Clinton or Obama? Clinton or Obama?

So it all comes down to a power hungry bitch or a senator that
can't show up for work. Obama has been absent for nearly 25% of the votes
in his term as senator. The issues he did not cast ballots on included measures
on abortion, homeland security, bridge safety, foreign aid, the alternative minimum
tax and a failed no-confidence vote on Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.
Clinton fared a little better missing only 8% of the votes. Obama also just recently,
in the Dartmouth debate, refused to pledge to get troops out of Iraq before
2013, as did Clinton (contrary to both of their campaign ads)

So let me see...


_{"Is he asleep again? Well, at least he's here..."}

If I miss one out of every four days of work I would expect to:

A) be fired immediately
OR
B) promoted to President of the United States

I think I'll take what's behind door number three... McCain. His lifetime attendance
record is fairly solid -- he's only missed 11% of votes since 1987.

AT LEAST HE SHOWS UP FOR WORK!

At 3 a.m. when the phone rings... I know he'll be there to answer it.
(plus old people go to bed really early and he will probably already have six
to eight hours of sleep and be ready to tackle any problem)

----------------------------------------

And now for an update on my battle with the Daimler-Chrysler Corporation:


_{"Please don't try this at home - this is a specially trained K9"}

Since my battle with Chrysler began they have:

Dropped from #1 to #3 in the U.S. market
Offered buyouts to 44,000 U.S. hourly workers
Trimmed vehicle lines
and now...
Will shut all but its most essential operations worldwide
for two weeks in July in an effort to cut losses and conserve cash

(Yeah, I think we see who got the better of this battle...)

----------------------------------------------------

And on the lighter side:

I'm excited about "The Dark Knight" - it's just a shame that Heath Ledger
didn't live to see his best performance.
(I mean best performance where he didn't have to bang a guy)

finally...



WHAT THE FUCK???

Can someone really want to spend eternity in a Pabst can?
Amstel Light, maybe...

But PABST????

Well, I'm done for now...


GO CELTICS!