Volume XIII
"The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it." Adolph Hitler
"The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it." Adolph Hitler
Journalist Tom Kummer, a Hollywood based Swiss writer recently reported
that teen sensation Christina Aguilera has a secret "crush" on yours
truly. I could not believe it myself. Evidently, she happened to come
across the E9 website and was love struck. When I first read of this I
was shocked, excited, and horny as hell.
This story is currently the buzz in Europe right now alongside of the Brad Pitt "Sometimes something will be hanging out of my nose…for days" story and the Courtney Love "feeling depressed, empty, and stupid" story and it seems like Tom is always able to get the most intimate secrets out of Hollywood's best. (Even when it pertains to you know who)
One would wonder how he's able to do this?
HMMMM…. HE MAKES THEM UP!!!!!
That's right. Busted.
In a scandal that has rocked the readership of some of Europe's biggest publications it was revealed that the weekly interviews penned by Mr. Kummer are works of fiction.
(I guess he figured Europeans aren't that bright so…why not? Hell, Hitler rolled over half of Europe in an afternoon so what harm is there in a little creative interview writing)
On Saturday the European paper ran a two-page apology to the readers for Kummer's actions. What was Kummer's reaction to this?
He merely called his work "conceptual art."
So let me get this straight. If I totally fabricate a story (lie) and get caught, I can just lay down my "get out of jail free" card in the form of "conceptual art." Now don't be so quick to judge, this could work…
Honey, don't get upset…I was just performing my latest conceptual art piece entitled "banging the babysitter."
It could become the "I plead the fifth" of the next millennium.
Your honor, I did not kill that family. I was perpetrating my latest conceptual art piece entitled "kill 'em all and steal everything day got."
Or better yet…
"I don't know what the Jews, Gays, Blacks, Hispanics & Chinks are upset about, it's only conceptual art." John Rocker
MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE
What the fuck is wrong with people? Doesn't anyone take responsibility for his or her own actions? It's always someone else's fault. Oh, the Columbine massacre…it's that damn heavy metal music…Eric leaving the band…it's that damn Dave's fault…Drew leaving the band…it's that damn Dave's fault…Jude leaving the band…it's that damn Dave's fault
(Wait a minute???)
I think it's time that we stand up and take responsibility for our actions and try not to pass the buck on every issue that comes down the line.
(and it wasn't me…well maybe Eric)
AND THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT
Elsewhere…
A Zambian (where the hell is Zambia anyway?) hotel supervisor was ordered to pay $300 in compensation to the husband of a female employee. Evidently the supervisor touched her breasts (he reached from behind and slipped his hand into her blouse)
Now depending on how nice the breasts were (she was 24 years old - so he didn't have to bend down) $300 is not that bad a deal. I've seen men spend more than that to just look at them! Anyway the court ruled that the victim's husband, not the victim deserved the $300 restitution. Which always comes back to…
PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY!
It's true. It's true.
Oh, about that intro thing…
I was skeptical until I received this.
WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT???
This story is currently the buzz in Europe right now alongside of the Brad Pitt "Sometimes something will be hanging out of my nose…for days" story and the Courtney Love "feeling depressed, empty, and stupid" story and it seems like Tom is always able to get the most intimate secrets out of Hollywood's best. (Even when it pertains to you know who)
One would wonder how he's able to do this?
HMMMM…. HE MAKES THEM UP!!!!!
That's right. Busted.
In a scandal that has rocked the readership of some of Europe's biggest publications it was revealed that the weekly interviews penned by Mr. Kummer are works of fiction.
(I guess he figured Europeans aren't that bright so…why not? Hell, Hitler rolled over half of Europe in an afternoon so what harm is there in a little creative interview writing)
On Saturday the European paper ran a two-page apology to the readers for Kummer's actions. What was Kummer's reaction to this?
He merely called his work "conceptual art."
So let me get this straight. If I totally fabricate a story (lie) and get caught, I can just lay down my "get out of jail free" card in the form of "conceptual art." Now don't be so quick to judge, this could work…
Honey, don't get upset…I was just performing my latest conceptual art piece entitled "banging the babysitter."
It could become the "I plead the fifth" of the next millennium.
Your honor, I did not kill that family. I was perpetrating my latest conceptual art piece entitled "kill 'em all and steal everything day got."
Or better yet…
"I don't know what the Jews, Gays, Blacks, Hispanics & Chinks are upset about, it's only conceptual art." John Rocker
MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE
What the fuck is wrong with people? Doesn't anyone take responsibility for his or her own actions? It's always someone else's fault. Oh, the Columbine massacre…it's that damn heavy metal music…Eric leaving the band…it's that damn Dave's fault…Drew leaving the band…it's that damn Dave's fault…Jude leaving the band…it's that damn Dave's fault
(Wait a minute???)
I think it's time that we stand up and take responsibility for our actions and try not to pass the buck on every issue that comes down the line.
(and it wasn't me…well maybe Eric)
AND THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT
Elsewhere…
A Zambian (where the hell is Zambia anyway?) hotel supervisor was ordered to pay $300 in compensation to the husband of a female employee. Evidently the supervisor touched her breasts (he reached from behind and slipped his hand into her blouse)
Now depending on how nice the breasts were (she was 24 years old - so he didn't have to bend down) $300 is not that bad a deal. I've seen men spend more than that to just look at them! Anyway the court ruled that the victim's husband, not the victim deserved the $300 restitution. Which always comes back to…
PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY!
It's true. It's true.
Oh, about that intro thing…
I was skeptical until I received this.
WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT???